Fact: A lot of people are confused about what bisexuality is or what it means to be bi. To clarify: “bi” is short for the word “bike” which in itself is actually short for “bichael”. We hope this clears things up.
the sadness and recognition of self-sabotage at the start of a relationship here is unparalleled… the person/thing keeping her back in this song is herself and all the fear she has… there is no outward enemy in this song…. no foxes because she is both archer and prey!!! it’s about battling the harsh lessons you’ve learned and learning to reach out to others even when it might hurt…
so many phrases about chosing to live alone and always looking for the cracks because it’s what you’re used to… “i jump from the train, i ride off alone” and “dark side, i search for your dark side” and “and i cut off my nose just to spite my face” because “the room is on fire, invisible smoke and all of my heroes die all alone” and “cause all of my enemies started out friends”….. she’s used to shielding herself and her heart because no one can see her or the invisible smoke she’s choking on and there’s no one she can look up to or count on but THEN oh my god then…….. then…..
she asks very hesitantly….. “but what if I’m alright, right, right, right here?” she’s trying to accept that maybe this might be real and right…. but she still needs courage… there are still all those unsaid words and all those people who can’t see her and that reflection she can’t look into…. so she asks,three times in this song, very softly… “help me hold on to you”…….. just like she “squeeze(d) your hand three times in the back of a taxi, i can tell it’s going to be a long road / i will hold on to you”
love is finding the answers to your own questions in the other person and coming away from fear and doubt and uncertainty and knowing after a life of searching….. you have something to hold onto with both hands, and they’ll grab you back because….
I didn’t realize it on the first listen but this song is really truly also about anxiety and almost…… self loathing?
“I’m ready for combat / I say I don’t want that / but what if I do?” questioning her own morals and beliefs because she doesn’t want a war, she doesn’t want to fight but…… what if she does? merely questioning herself like that and having the anxiety that like ‘oh shit what if I’m fake and do like the drama’ when she knows she doesn’t!! ouch….
“I cut off my nose just to spite my face, then hate my reflection for years and years” to me this is a metaphor for her doing something quite spiteful in the name of revenge and then hating herself for it even years later.
“Who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay?” she KNOWS she’s a good person, she knows that people who love her will stay… but considering the things she’s done…… who could stay after that?
“The room is on fire, invisible smoke” Interestingly, the “invisible smoke” articulates that even though Taylor is in a terrible emotional state, nobody can see the fire and anxiety and depression but her.
“Help me hold onto you” she’s basically saying hey, my anxiety is through the roof I’m convinced you’ll hate me like I do but I need you in my life so please… help me keep you here next to me
